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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27364051">Roberta</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualreina/pseuds/bisexualreina'>bisexualreina</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The X-Files</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adoption, Domestic Fox Mulder/Dana Scully, Emily Lives, F/M, Family Angst, somewhat canon timeline, william isn't given up</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:49:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,752</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27364051</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bisexualreina/pseuds/bisexualreina</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Emily finds something shocking out.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Fox Mulder/Dana Scully</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>47</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Roberta</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Trigger Warning: Mention of Scully's abduction and infertility</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The photo was never meant to be found. Scully and Mulder had made the decision to withhold the information of obtaining Emily from her, agreeing that they’d tell her when the time felt right, but as she grew and settled into their life together, that moment never felt right. To Scully she felt as equal of her child as William, her love was unwavering and unbiased between her son and daughter, and she figured that the messy beginning of her life truly belonged in the past, for everyone’s sake.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">However, she still kept the photo safely guarded in her nightstand with all of her other precious items. William and Emily knew to keep out of their mother’s things, that boundaries were an important staple in their household, but it now became apparent that she had to take things into her own hands if she wanted to find out the truth about herself.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her parents had been out, their surprise child now a reason for their weekly shopping trips in the city, along with geriatric specialists, fertility experts, and other doctors to help ensure the well being of her mother and her irresponsible mistake that resulted in another mouth to feed. Emily felt uncertain, her parents seemed too old to be going at this again, and gauging from all the health complications that she faced with her younger brother, she assumed that they were it, that they were <em>enough</em> for their parents.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eight teen was already a rocky place for Emily to be in regards to her relationship with her mother, they struggled to see eye to eye, and regardless of what their quarrels were about, they always ended in a bout of unnecessary tears from each party.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With their grand announcement to both her and her brother, she was unsure how she felt, her feelings twisting and garbling as she watched her mother meticulously prepare, no stone left unturned, which perplexed her, due to the amount of unturned stones in her own life.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The major things were there, but she lacked the small ones. William’s life had been well documented from the moment he was born hastily on the side of the road in a dusty pull off, her Aunt Monica pulling out a camera from the bag to get his wiggling form in the frame. Each milestone documented meticulously, whereas hers began around her fourth birthday, as if her parents simply forgot to capture what precious memories they had with her brother.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Even when asking about names and genders for the new little one, Emily found herself questioning her own, unsure as to why her parents had sandwiched together such bold monikers that didn’t seem to make sense. However with every question she found Scully just averting her eyes and shrugging, claiming it was a combination she enjoyed hearing and it stuck, a convenient reply, but not making sense when comparing it to William’s, named after both grandfathers in their lives, clearly holding such a sentimental value in their lives. However her answer was short and sweet, and laced with a worry that she could never pinpoint.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her mother always had every answer, whereas her father always managed to dodge whatever questions she fielded, flashing his eyes nervously at Scully to intervene, they were lying to her and she knew it. She had waited for them to leave, and for her brother to ascend to his bedroom before creeping into the modest master bedroom, their sheets tightly made along with the mass of pillows that her mother began bringing home every weekend after these outings, claiming that they were to help her back, her comments making Emily’s stomach twist with a jealousy that she didn’t imagine to feel.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She slid the bedside table drawer open and dug around the surprisingly cluttered cabinet. A worn, faded bible sat untouched in the corner, collecting dust, along with a leather bound notebook and a stack of photos that were tucked in the corner, her eyes finding them instantly, believing they held a shred of an answer as to why her parents seemed so strange about her past.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As her hand brushed over the first one, she noticed that they meant little to her, the first one being her Aunt Melissa that had passed when she was a baby, another of black and white film of her parents softly swaying under a light on a dance floor, completely entranced with each other. She flipped through impatiently and felt her stomach knot with frustration as she sat herself on the bed, coming into contact with one of those photos of William’s birth, the car dim with the overhead light barely shining, a huge grin on Mulder’s face as he held her brother steady against Scully’s sweaty white shirt, a gobsmacked grin along the corners of her mouth. It was a happy moment, and she felt a sliver of hope that maybe her mother had a similar photo tucked in the drawer just for her own eyes, to hold close.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She pressed on, brushing her strawberry locks behind her ear as she shuffled through the short stack, nothing more of interest coming from the pile, with no trace of her from her infancy, just family photos and trinkets, making her toss them back into the drawer with frustration.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The shaking of the force causing a corner of a polaroid to peek out of the old, dusty bible, catching Emily’s attention. She swiftly found another photo and slid it in as a bookmark before retrieving it from the spot. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She found herself initially grinning, the photo of her on what seemed to be the hospital, a grinning woman holding an infant proudly in the signature white and green striped blanket. She squinted to see and noticed the prominent golden color of her hair, contrasting with the auburn nature of the baby’s furry patch atop their hair. She wondered if her aunt had ever delivered any children that Scully had never mentioned, her stomach tightening as she turned the photo over to read the inscription, making her insides drop to the floor.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">
    <em>Roberta and our newest joy, Emily - 1994</em>
  </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her blood felt like ice, now not even remembering what thoughts had been initially running through her head as she stared at the photograph, this woman sharing her middle name that she had always wondered about. She felt as if all the air was being sucked from her lungs, unable to move from her spot perched on the bed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She could hear the front door open and close with a wintery slam, but she felt no urge to hide the photos away, to cover any signs of her snooping, or to turn when she felt a presence at the door.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Emily…I hope you’re not in my drawer.” She could hear Scully warn, but she couldn’t find it in herself to even turn, the photo now clutched between her thumb and four fingers, nearly shaking at the sound of her voice.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Em…what are you doing, get outta there, you know how I feel about boundaries…” Scully began to scold, trotting over towards her side of the bed before realizing why her daughter had fallen so silent, the image making her want to hurl onto the ground in front of her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her immediate instinct was to yank the photo out of her hand before she got any more questions than the ones that she was probably already formulating, unsure of what to do to explain this. Perhaps she didn’t see the back, or that the coincidence seemed to be just that, her name was common for that year. But once her eyes landed on Emily’s cold expression, she knew that her daughter wasn’t stupid.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What, is this.” She heard her daughter bite off as her fingers began to crumple the only tangible photo of her baby girl at that age, something she treasured deeply. She inched closer to try and pry the photo out of her hand, but the young girl just flinched away and moved her arm further from her mother until she got an explanation. Scully could feel her panic rising, she needed Mulder, she had always pictured him present for this conversation, but she feared that walking off to retrieve him would lead to a grand outburst.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Emily…I can explain.” Scully began evenly, trying her hardest to keep a level head, but she could sense the fury rising in the emotional girl that she had raised, instantly sinking beside her before reaching for her wrist, but she instantly dodged it and squeezed her eyes shut, her deep breaths making Scully’s heart splinter.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Then do it.” She snarled, her eyes opening once more with tears glazing over them, glaring in her direction as Scully took a breath, unsure of where to begin.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Before I tell you anything, just know that I love you <em>so</em> much, and that you have been and always will be my daughter.” Scully vowed, pouring every ounce of her strength into that sentence, causing Emily to worry and scoot away, unsure of what to make of that.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll be the judge of that.” She bit, making Scully bite her lip and lean back while wringing her hands against her tiny tummy, the image only infuriating Emily more.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“When I started working I was taken…” Scully began, her voice trembling as she dug deep within her mind to pull out these painful memories and bits of her past and all that came with it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“These people were bad, and they did tests on me, one of which being, they took my ova.” Tears now building at the painful reality that had haunted her for years following, the existence of her children easing some of it, but it still stung enough to bring a tear to her eye, or many down her cheeks if she lingered on it too long.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well years after that I found out that I couldn’t have children, that the tests had left me…<em>barren</em>…” She cried, causing Emily to glance over in her direction and squeeze her hand into a fist, her anger building as she tried to make sense of what she was about to hear.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Did you give birth to me?” She demanded, interrupting the story to get to the burning question that had been playing in her mind since the second she saw the photo, terrified about what her <em>mother</em> was going to respond with.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Scully swallowed and gulped back a sob, this conversation far more difficult than she had imagined. She had expected anger, it was natural and she could field it, hell, she had two teenagers under one roof, but it was the sorrow and betrayal that laced the anger that was enough to break her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No.” She admitted, the answer causing Emily’s shoulders to drop, almost as if her body was deflating in front of her. A new reality washing over her body as her eyes landed on the woman who was cradling her tiny body close to her chest.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“They used my egg and combined it in a lab to conceive you, and then they implanted you into that woman.” Scully cried, trying her absolute best to keep her level head, but her influx of hormones and sheer fear and sorrow making it virtually impossible.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You were born to this couple. And when you were little I went to visit your Uncle Bill and Aunt Tara, and somehow I found you after your parents died. You were so sick, and I was able to adopt you, and the rest doesn’t matter.” Scully cried, reaching over to grip her daughter’s chin, but she instantly batted her hands away and moved from the bed, now furiously pacing as she faced her mother.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The rest doesn’t matter?” She growled, the photo now completely crumpled in her hand, causing Scully’s heart to break even more, realizing that it was a tangible display of her feelings towards her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It doesn’t- you are my daughter in <em>every</em> way except for the fact that I didn’t carry you or give birth to you, I have always seen you as my child!” Scully cried, now standing to face her, but she just scoffed and went to brush past her, but she stepped to catch her in her tracks, her eyes darting towards her mother’s desperate ones.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I knew it, there was always something different between me and William, how can you love someone the same as your child- no children, that you carried inside you? Your <em>real</em> children.” Emily growled, her words swiftly smacking Scully square in the chest, only fueling her desire to leave more.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t say that- don’t ever say that!” Scully cried, the influx of her volume and tone causing both Mulder and William to creep around the corner, the older man waving at him to wander off so that he could check on things.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Scully was sobbing now, it was unintentional and intense, but she couldn’t help it, the day was here and she couldn’t contain the pure heartbreak and terror that was overtaking her shaking frame. Emily just stared in complete and utter anger, an arm’s length away from her mother. In most instances she never intentionally wanted to upset the woman, dropping arguments seemed to be her forte, but this was different, she wanted to inflict the same hurt she was feeling.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It isn’t a lie, you said it yourself, I was just a quick fix solution because you thought you couldn’t have your own babies, so why not take home the kid from the crime scene?!” She shouted, her words like venom towards her mother who seemed exasperated at the sentiment that she was expecting.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Emily!” Mulder quickly scolded, but she wasn’t listening, neither of them were, and he feared that something would be said, and that things would have catastrophic ends.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That is <em>not</em> true!” Scully now shouted back, her own frustrations and fury building, but she didn’t know who it was directed at, and losing her temper would not help anyone.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Emily you know I love you- you are my first child, and I would give up my whole life for you- I would do anything for you!” Scully now sobbed, unsure of what else to say to try and prove her unrelenting love and devotion, but with each step she took, she could feel her daughter pulling away.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“If you would do anything, then why did you lie to me!” She shouted back angrily, her demand rendering Scully speechless, her shaking hands falling to her middle to try and steady herself as her daughter waited for an explanation.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How…how do I tell you something like that? I never wanted you to feel like you were unwanted or loved any less because of it. I was so afraid that if I did I’d lose you.” Scully wept, trying to get her words out in between her sobs, the cold stare of her daughter hardening at the explanation.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well you shouldn’t have lied, because you lost me anyways.” She spat, brushing past her parents, the sound of Scully’s sobs echoing through the house as she bustled past her gobsmacked brother and out the front door. The sound of her mother’s sobs haunted her, but it was nothing compared to the twisting pain in her stomach of the reality that she was different than her brother, than the new one, and that it had been kept form her for her entire life.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She was jogging, her lungs burning as she cried furious, burning tears, racing towards the only place she felt at peace. The tiny apartment that sat around the corner, using her guest key to let herself into the guarded complex, up the stairs to the third floor and in front of her Aunt Monica’s door.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It gently swung open and before she could say anything she was lunging into a deep hug, feeling slightly at peace as the older woman wrapped her arms around her, quite worried that her niece was sobbing and winded on her doorstep.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Time had passed and Emily was swiftly planted on a chair that overlooked the city on the tiny balcony, green plants growing in abundance on the tiny terrace, a hot mug in her hand, and a soft throw draped around her shoulders. She knew she could count on her aunt, but she also knew that she was probably on the phone with her mother at that very moment, but she didn’t care, she was there and her mother was far away.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Emily, what in the world is going on between you and your mother?” Monica questioned tenderly, her voice such a comfort when she felt as if her entire world would completely collapse from beneath her feet.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Apparently I’m adopted.” She whimpered, making Monica exhale slowly and nod, knowing that this day was long in the making, ever since she had met Dana Scully. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She knelt forward and balanced her own mug on her knee and listened attentively, not wanting to pressure the young, and clearly distraught girl into taking one side or the other. Emily just licked her lips and sighed, trying to gather all of her thoughts into one coherent statement, but was unsuccessful in doing so.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She lied to me. For years she lied to my face- I thought that everything was fine and complete, and that they were satisfied with me, but then along came William, and although they never called him that he was their <em>miracle</em>, I was little and I didn’t care- but now, God, I just feel so inadequate.” She trembled, setting her mug down as she briskly wiped her tears away, shuddering back a sob as she tried to gather her emotions.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Emily, you have to know that biology means nothing, and if your mother could, she would’ve carried you and brought you into this world to be a part of her life.” Monica tried to assure the young girl, but she just shook her head at her and wept once more.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But how though? How does it mean nothing? I’ve watched her carry two children now, and each time I can see that she loves them so much- she loves that she can feel them move, that she can feel their heart beating from the inside. It’s a bond that I can’t even explain, and to know I’m the only one who she didn’t experience that with?” Emily cried, her chest now shaking painfully as unregulated sobs fell out of her mouth, causing Monica to scoot over and place a hand on hers.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Emily, I’ve known your mom for a long time now, and from what I learned is, she loves with her entire soul. Its something electric, and I know that you are not any less of a daughter to her, I just know it.” Monica promised, but Emily just sunk back into her seat and shuddered, pulling the blanket closer. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Monica silently excused herself and wandered back into the apartment as the sun began to set, strung lights illuminating from the timer that was set. Emily just sat in silence, her body feeling numb as she reflected on her aunt’s words and the violent words that had hurled out of her mouth, slight twinges of shame washing over her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She exhaled heavily and jumped at the sound of someone carefully knocking against the screen door, turning to face her mother who had come with her tail between her legs, both of them less confrontational than before.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is it alright if I come out?” She questioned softly, truly not wanting to invade her time, but Emily simply nodded and motioned towards the rocking porch swing that she had moved to, allowing her mother to take a spot beside her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She had changed, now in a lavender sweater and leggings to keep her warm from the cold, her red hair swept into a ponytail. The redness of her eyes telling her that she had been crying too, her guilt now hitting again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They sat in silence until Scully finally cleared her throat, folding her hands in her lap and lowering her eyes before taking a steady breath.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Emily, I know you’re angry with me, and I don’t blame you. Although it would hurt, I’d understand if you were angry for a long time, because keeping something like this from you wasn’t right, and it was selfish of me.” Scully began, the mere sound of her voice causing Emily’s eyes to well up with tears, trying to keep her sobs silent to let her mother continue.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But if there is anything that I want you to know and truly believe in your heart, is that I have always genuinely, and deeply loved you, regardless of whether I carried you inside me for those nine months, because I learned to carry you in my heart for almost sixteen years, and for those years that I didn’t know you, I found a way to carry that love in me too. You are so precious to me, you are my oldest child, and I am <em>so </em>lucky and blessed that I have gotten to be your mother. I didn’t just choose you to fill some gap in my heart at the time, I chose you because I knew from the moment I saw you that you were my daughter, genetics be damned.” Scully now cried, struggling to get her words out as she poured her heart out.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And I love you with everything in me.” Her cold hand settling on Emily’s runny cheek, her own tears increasing at the image of her daughter weeping at her words.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I love you too.” Was all Emily could mutter in between sobs, her chest aching as she struggled for air, instinctively leaning into her mother’s eager and awaiting embrace. Her scent of lavender and warmth always found a way to soothe her, allowing her to bury her face into her neck and cry even harder.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m sorry for what I said- for yelling.” She sobbed, now grabbing fistfuls of her sweater into trembling hands, overwhelmed with every feeling of love, begging for forgiveness, and accepting apology that she never knew she needed to hear, washed over and through her entire being.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Scully just shushed softly into her daughter’s hair, stroking it until she managed to calm down, planting a kiss onto her temple. Her mother loved her, and that was all that mattered, details be damned.</span>
</p><p class="p1">She was lucky to have her.</p>
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